Alzheimer’s Descent: No Serenity Prayer Here

Today with my fresh-from-the-beauty-parlour Mom

Today with my fresh-from-the-beauty-parlour Mom

New Jersey, Thursday

My mom’s descent on the Alzheimer’s path continues.

I know how lucky I am that she’s content in her surroundings and receiving excellent care. Most of all, I’m blessed she’s still her wonderful self at heart, warm and loving to her family and the people around her.

As mentioned in Mom and the Memory Thief, I try to focus on the present moments with Mom and resist the (at times powerful) temptation to rant and rage in a futile waste of energy against the disease.

Mom is not yet living in a ‘memory unit’ but will soon need that 24/7 level of care and protection. She and her almost-94 year-old ‘boyfriend’ (as she calls him) can no longer help each other as much as they used to, because both are dealing with their own physical and mental limitations. They still have meals together and hold hands at the music programs.

As for me, I seem to have reached the point where I feel no amusement whatsoever at various Alzheimer’s ‘strange behaviour’ or ‘losing one’s mind’ stories and jokes. They’re funny, until it happens to your mom.

So many things we cannot change. I’ve lost people I love (not counting ‘normal’ old age) by automobile accident, cancer and now, at an increasing pace, to Alzheimer’s. The ‘Serenity Prayer’ counsels us to be accepting, but I’ve never ‘accepted’ these losses with anything remotely approaching serenity.

I do accept that everyone experiences loss, and pray that my mother will continue to feel happiness and contentment in her life.

Thank you for reading this post. Next week’s letter will be from Felixstowe.

4 Responses

  1. Your mom looks great, and I’m glad you still can “find” her. Her situation is nice, since she has good caregivers, and the one who suffers the most is you. I wish I couldn’t identify. But it is clearly the best situation for Dottie, and how fortunate you are to know she’s thriving there. Be glad you could make this visit, and plan for the next when you can handle it. XXOO

  2. Awww Mary you are truly an inspiration to me. You (and Lynnie you too!) have walked the walk and help remind me to be so grateful I can still ‘find’ my mother. xxxxxxxxxx

  3. Hi Carolyn and Clive,
    I pray for your Mom to have serenity and ease for the longest possible time. It is terrible to see our parents /friends forget. Yet, just as terrible to see the personality change.
    My Mom was gentle and happy when I.saw her in 2014. Yet, I could feel the changes the following year. At one point, there were no longer any responses. A sad turning point…
    Sending you lots of love and strength.

  4. Dear xpat92 thanks for your prayer for my mom.

    Each of these turning points is sad indeed and I know you understand from your experience with your mom.

    Hope all is well with you in this new year xx

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