In Remembrance Ten Years: My Late Husband, Gary


Dunwich Heath and Minsmere Reserve, Suffolk, UK

Ten years ago, on Saturday night, 2 August 2003, my first husband Gary took his final breath of this life.

Gary was born in Michigan, where he grew up outside Detroit with his loving parents and older and younger brothers. He died in the city we had fallen in love with and where we’d made our home since 1995:  Sydney, Australia. I was with him when he died, along with our son and my stepson, Gary’s son from his first marriage.

Gary was so many things to so many people: Son, brother, friend. Uncle, cousin, nephew, employee, employer. He was a gifted gardener and a gifted photographer, a man who loved nature, animals, and all living creatures. He was a scuba diver, a real estate agent, a baseball coach and umpire, a great hand at the Aussie barbecue, and a DIY expert.

Above everything else, Gary was a loving family man, a husband and father who gave his immediate family the daily gift of his love, care, and devotion. I know I cannot fathom the ongoing grief and loss my son and stepson experience at his absence in their lives. I can only attest to my own, and to my gratitude that Gary was my first husband and the father of my son. I’m beyond grateful that my son travelled to the UK to be with me this week, especially for this day.

As always, I can’t write about Gary without acknowledging my gratitude for having met Clive, my loving second husband, who today accompanied us to a beautiful, wild headland in Suffolk, UK, one of my favourite places and one I believe Gary also would have loved. My son and I scattered red rose petals amongst the wild ferns, beneath the big Suffolk sky, at the edge of the eternal, moving sea.

In remembrance, Gary. We love you and we miss you.

Gary for 2 Aug 2013 post

Gary, 1945 – 2003

  Related posts:
    August 2, Seven Years
    Two Families, Two Deaths, Two Women

5 Responses

  1. Hi Carolyn , a beautiful tribute to not only your Gary , but also to Clive. How wonderful that your son was able to be with you in Suffolk to celebrate his anniversary ..take care xo

  2. Thank you, annie — I am so happy my ‘boy’ was able to be in Suffolk and we’ve enjoyed showing him around.

    I appreciate your comment. Cheers and hope all’s well with you!

  3. A very fine tribute Carol. I remember how welcoming he was to us when we paid a spur of the moment visit to you in Sydney..showing us the beautiful birds, and the grounds around your home..taking time from a busy day to be our guide for a few hours. John and I will always remember that, and your gracious hospitality.

    Martha and John Boiardi

  4. This was lovely, and reminded me that you and GR were together for the occasion. I’m glad about the timing of his visit, and I’m sure you truly enjoyed his company. How lucky you got a whole week! XXOO

  5. Martha B it’s wonderful to hear from you and thank you so much for sharing your memories. Gary loved those beautiful Australian birds and wildlife and I remember how fun it was meeting you and John at the ferry 🙂

    Mary, thank you too and yes, it’s been the best having him here for this special time. I know you understand about those precious days with the grown-up ‘children’!

    Cheers both and thank you for your kind comments.

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