Before: Clive has removed the salmon tiles

Felixstowe Suffolk UK

I’ve mentioned in recent posts and tweets that when we moved into our apartment, our guest loo was covered floor-to-ceiling with salmon-coloured tiles. They matched the salmon sink and toilet.

We knew we wanted a second loo when we bought our place in England. After looking at many apartments with only one, we were pleased to have the second one in any colour so didn’t let the salmon bother us too much. We recently purchased a *white* sink and toilet, which are currently under the dining table in our yet-unrenovated loungeroom.

So many choices

Clive ripped out the salmon tiles and the glue behind them but I forgot to take a photo of him doing it. This morning, a plumber disconnected and stripped out the old sink, toilet, and associated pipework. Later, a very skilled plasterer resurfaced the walls.

Plumber, then plasterer

The plasterer complimented Clive on the continuous run of bright 1990’s music and asked if we were tuned to ‘Happy FM’.  We were pleased with today’s progress. Small as the room is, it’s the first renovation I’ve ever been involved in that includes plumbing, ripping out fixtures, etc.

Work in progress, old loo in entry area (charming)

Still to go: new skirting boards, paint ceiling and walls, floor redone, new sink and toilet installed, and maybe a new window with white trim instead of impossible-to-paint metallic dark brown.

Guest loo after today's work

Cheers for now and more soon.

Bradshaw's Railway Handbook

Felixstowe Suffolk UK

In today’s post, we received our copy of Bradshaw’s Descriptive Railway Hand-Book of Great Britain and Ireland, a facsimile of the Victorian guide by George Bradshaw, originally published in 1863.

Clive and I recently discovered and immediately became addicted to Series 3 of the BBC television travel series ‘Great British Railway Journeys’, presented by Michael Portillo, a former British Cabinet minister and the only man I’ve ever thought looks great in a pink jacket (not that I’ve seen that many men in pink jackets).

By a pleasant coincidence, in the first week of this series, Portillo travelled to our new home town of  Felixstowe as part of his journey in Suffolk.

'agriculture on the most improved principles' = Bradshaw on Suffolk

We’ve enjoyed the program no matter where Michael Portillo goes. The mix of scenery, history, and comparison to modern times is enthralling. We can’t wait to watch DVDs of Series 1 and 2.

In the meantime, Series 3 continues and we can peruse our lovely new guide. According to a recent article in the Oxford Times, the reprint jumped to number 6 on the amazon UK bestseller list as a result of the television series.

I have an uneasy relationship with my Kindle, but that’s a subject for a separate post. Today I’ll just say that for all the reading I do electronically, I still adore physical books.

Paging through Bradshaw's Railway Handbook

Cheers for now and more soon.

Double Time, Paris Musée d’Orsay, taken by my late husband

My word for 2012 is choices.

Like most people, Clive and I are bombarded daily by to-do’s, responsibilities, and — depending on the day and what else is happening in our lives and the lives of those close to us — greater or fewer choices.

I have three aspirations around choices:

1.  To acknowledge I have many choices, even when the idea of choice seems impossible (see below).  One of my hot buttons is when people blame everything and everyone other than themselves for what are often the results of their own choices. At times I need to remind myself to take responsibility for my choices.

2.  To be mindful, firstly of how I make choices; secondly, of the options to consider when making a choice.

3.  To be thankful I have choices, from life in a free country to our emotional and physical resources to the general health and well-being of our family and friends.

Even When the Notion of Choice Seems Impossible

Certain stages of life limit choices or dictate much of our schedule and activities — job and career responsibilities, raising young children, caring for older relatives. Accidents, illness, death of loved ones, and other emergencies force us to drop everything, respond to urgent needs, and enter unknown territory where the idea of ‘choice’ seems alien and unfathomable.

Six months after I was widowed in 2003, someone gave me the book I’m Grieving as Fast as I Can-A Guide for Young Widow/ers. Eventually when I looked at it, the chapter that helped me the most was one in which the author challenged the notion that life was now completely out of control, a near-universal feeling of the recently-widowed. Instead, she listed a number of areas in which we still had choices — from simple things like food and clothing to deeper ones such as with whom I spent free time and how I responded emotionally to what was happening. I tore out the pages and kept them close at my desk.

Yes, control is an illusion but when I thought about it then – and again, now – even if it’s about life’s basics, we still have choices.

Choices about Big Stuff

- Direction and priorities – our ‘areas of focus’ and their relative importance to the bigger picture of our life

- Time – setting aside large chunks — where and with whom in our global family — and planning for couple travel and time at home

- Money – saving it, spending it as wisely as possible

Choices about Physical Stuff

- Diet – what (and how much) food and drink I put in my mouth

- Rest – getting enough sleep – what time I turn off my laptop, stop reading, go to sleep!

- Exercise – when and how far to walk, our main form of exercise which we both love doing

Choices about Emotional Stuff

-  My attitudes – to events, people, everything!

-  My reactions – I’m usually patient with a high tolerance for things going wrong or other people’s foibles, but sometimes I (choose to!) boil over

Choices about Daily Stuff

- Emotional and physical choices, as above

- Words and tone I use when communicating – spoken and written

- Daily time – how much inside vs. outside, how much writing, reading, time on the Internet, time cooking, shopping, etc.

- Social – hermit time vs. time with friends and family

- Even the frequency and subjects of this blog are choices

Choices about Saying ‘No’ and Making Trade-offs

- Saying ‘no’ is often — not always, but more than one might think — a choice. I’ve always had a hard time saying the word, especially when the request for ‘yes’ comes from someone close to me. We did learn to say ‘no’ in response to endless friend-of-friend requests for free accommodation in Sydney (see Moocher Madness).  

Most of us don’t have unlimited time, energy, or money. Saying ‘no’ to one possibility and choosing to make a trade-off can open the door to being able to say ‘yes’ to something more meaningful.

Choices about Balance

- To balance our choices in large and small ways – for example, time for individual interests, couple time, time with friends and family, time for travel as well as projects at home.

Choices and Change

I’ve learned some choices stir the waters of change. We’ve experienced so much change in the past few years that my word for 2011 was settle. We ended up moving around quite a bit so aim to make choices this year that result in less-fragmented travel.

At home in Felixstowe, my goal is to resume a writing project I put on the back burner last September. Clive’s is to pursue music and technology interests. We both hope to do a lot of walking and exploring around Suffolk whilst continuing our renovations and time spent with family and friends.

I know our choices won’t be perfect, but believe that by being conscious of process and content, we won’t have too many regrets.

Choose and Be Happy

I’ll end this post with something I read years ago that stayed with me, attributed as an old Japanese proverb:  Choose and be happy.

The essence of this proverb as I understand it is *not* to spend endless hours dithering, pondering, and analysing (all of which I’ve been known to do), but to take reasonable time to thoughtfully consider alternatives, then decide.

My wish for everyone is, to whatever extent possible, this year and every year, choose and be happy.

Bonbons at Fête des Tuileries, Paris

Cheers for now and more soon.

Evening sky over the North Sea, Felixstowe

Felixstowe Suffolk UK

On January 4, 2011, I arrived in Felixstowe with Clive, my partner of five years and husband of five weeks, to make this beautiful part of the world our home.

That morning, we awoke in Paris, completed final closing-down tasks in the apartment, and headed for the Eurostar. As much as I always feel sad leaving Paris, we were both excited about moving to Felixstowe.

It’s been a heck of a year  and seems to have passed in the blink of an eye. With respect to time, my mother always said, ‘The older you get, the faster it goes.’ How right she was.

For our first evening in Felixstowe, dear friends had invited us to dinner at their home. To mark today’s milestone, we’re taking them for a meal at a new (to us) Suffolk pub, one they’ve enjoyed before. Maybe next January 4 we’ll have them in our renovated kitchen / dining room!

We feel very lucky to be here and appreciate everyone who makes Felixstowe and Suffolk such a wonderful place to live.

Felixstowe, December 2011

Cheers for now and more soon.

Luxembourg Gardens, Paris, July 2011

A year ago today, Clive and I were stranded with thousands of other passengers at New York’s Kennedy Airport, snowed in en route from the U.S. to Paris.

After an uncomfortable overnight funded by Air France at an airport hotel, followed by a convoluted series of shuttle buses and flights from LaGuardia to Washington National Airport and another shuttle to Dulles International, we made it to our Paris sanctuary just in time for New Year’s Eve.

In one way, it seems unfathomable that tomorrow is, once again, New Year’s Eve. We’ll soon be into 2012. In another way, when I reflect on our activities and movements of the past year, I can only sigh with a strange mix of relief, satisfaction, and hope that the new year will be less hectic. More specifically, I can’t imagine another year like 2011, with so many nights spent in so many different places or, as Clive says, with so much sleeping around.

A Look at the Calendar

Clive with his grandchildren, Australia, October 2011

Thanks to Clive, we maintain detailed master trip calendars, and I’ve always kept daily journals and travel diaries. Maybe it’s my mathematics background and/or my general love of numbers, but when I’m pondering something I often find it helpful to first simply ‘look at the facts’ — which, in the context of sleeping around, led me to review our 2011 calendars and diaries and do some adding-up.

A few highlights and/or lowlights based on where we spent our nights:

  Number of nights in a Felixstowe hotel:  6

  Number of nights at Felixstowe Rental Palace:  58

  Number of nights in our new place (counting tomorrow):  181

      (number of nights on an airbed:  163)

      (number of nights on blissful new bed I don’t want to get out of every morning:  18)

  Total nights in Felixstowe:  245

  Number of nights in Australia:  65

  Number of nights in New Jersey:  15

     (number of nights lost to hurricane:  5)

  Number of nights in Paris:  15

  Number of overnights on airplanes:  8

  Number of nights in Penzance/Isles of Scilly:  11

  Number of nights in London:  6

So What? A Brief  Assessment as the Sun Sets on 2011

Sunset over Felixstowe, December 2011

Most of our 2011 sleeping around was for one of two reasons: we moved from Sydney to Felixstowe, and we visited immediate family in Australia and the U.S.

Completing our overseas move and moving forward with our new adventure has to be at the top of my list for what we accomplished this year. We’ve made good progress with our renovations. As much as we want to travel and explore new places, especially now that we’re based in Europe, 2011 just wasn’t the year for it. Nor was it the year to spend more time in Paris, one of my longstanding personal dreams and goals. We did discover one fabulous new location, the Isles of Scilly, and squeezed in a few wonderful days in London.

We feel blessed with our new life in Felixstowe, which I’ve written about on this blog, particularly in ’15 Things I Love about Felixstowe’ and the ‘Top Ten Tapestry’ posts here and here. We’re getting better at travelling light, including going to Paris with only a backpack, which was definitely a 2011 thrill for me. Family highlights included doing a fund-raising walk with Clive’s daughter in April, being present for his granddaughter’s first birthday in October, and having my son with us  over Christmas.

Where to for the New Year?

St Mary's, Isles of Scilly, September 2011

No matter the motivation for one’s travels, frequent overseas trips and long-haul flights come with a certain weariness, despite all best efforts to manage jet lag.  

My word for 2011 was ‘settle’, but the reality of our life this past year was such that we experienced an almost chronic jet lag. We’ve begun to look at our family and travel plans across the whole of 2012, with the objective of giving our bodies and minds a better chance to appreciate our time with loved ones and regroup between trips. We still have much to do in our apartment, and I’m still considering what the right word might be to capture our 2012 goals.

Oxford St Christmas lights, London, November 2011

More to come! In the meantime, cheers and Happy New Year to all.

Walking near Felixstowe, Suffolk

On my son’s last full day in the UK, we showed him a little more of the Suffolk countryside I’ve grown to love so much.

Before our Boxing Day walk, we fuelled up with a full English breakfast on the Felixstowe seafront. The feast included scrambled eggs, bacon rashers, local Dingly Dell sausages, button mushrooms (for son only, thanks), and fried tomatoes and bread.

Full English breakfast, Felixstowe

Later, we enjoyed the fresh air and afternoon sun near the River Orwell at Levington. Our walk finished at the village pub (of course!), the Ship Inn.

My son leaves tomorrow and it will be sad to see him go. Time passes so swiftly. It seems only yesterday I was the twenty-something returning to work and life elsewhere, with my own mother waving goodbye.

We’ve had a wonderful week, and I recall my mother’s words, ‘It doesn’t matter what we do. It’s just good to be together.’

Levington, Suffolk with Felixstowe docks in the background

Now it’s time to think about dinner! Cheers and more soon.

In front of Crooked House, Lavenham

Today Clive and I took my son on a drive through the countryside to Lavenham, an historic ‘wool town’ in Suffolk.

In addition to its history as a centre of wealthy 15th-century commerce, the village is also known for its half-timbered buildings, including the orange Crooked House pictured at the top of this post. In another Lavenham home, poet Jane Taylor wrote ‘The Star’, whose words became famous in the song ’Twinkle, twinkle little star’.

After a stop at a high street café for afternoon tea — scones with jam and cream — we walked by the Guildhall, now managed by the National Trust.

Guildhall established in 15th century, Lavenham

The Church of St. Peter and St. Paul sits at the top of the town, on a hill overlooking the village. Lavenham was remarkably peaceful today, in contrast to warmer months when it’s a popular tourist destination.

Church of St Peter and St Paul, Lavenham

Then it was back to Felixstowe via Kersey, a small, scenic village with a ford across the main street. At home, we caught the end of the late afternoon sunset over the sea. Time to regroup before our next scheduled activity, introducing our visitor to good friends over dinner at a favourite local pub/restaurant.

Sunset over Felixstowe docks after a cloudless day

Cheers for now and more soon.

Before - airbed and moving boxes

Yippee!!

The last night I spent in our old bed was 10 October 2010. The following day, I flew to the U.S. for the second time in a month, for what was to be my last visit with my father before his death two weeks later.  Clive remained in Australia and did a heroic job of single-handedly clearing our former home. He had only five more nights than I did in our old bed before it went to his daughter, who was pleased to accept it when we offered.

This time of transition in our lives, coupled with our global travel schedule, has made for a lot of sleeping around (for lack of a better term). Borrowed airbeds in Australia and the UK. Hotel beds. The Rental Palace earlier this year. Beds in self-catering cottages. A few blessed weeks in our own bed at the apartment in Paris. Airline seats on overnight long-haul flights.  Our own airbed on top of sixteen book boxes.

Arrival of the new bed

We waited to buy a new bed until we’d completed some work in our bedroom. During that time, we looked at a zillion beds (I never realised how many different types are on the market), did comparison shopping, and finally found a simple style we loved. In the process, we learned an Aussie/US ‘queen’ is a British ‘king’, so we now have a king-size bed. Best of all, the furniture company assembled it on delivery.

Finally, the all-important mattress. We tried many and fortunately we both like them extra-extra-extra firm.  The minute the delivery guys left today, we lay on top of our new possession, despite it still being covered in plastic, and marvelled at how *wonderful* it feels.

Can’t wait for an early night tonight. Or maybe it’s time for a nap right now.

Finally!

Cheers and sweet dreams to all.

Resembling a cello

Large DIY shops HomeBase and B&Q had a huge range of artificial trees, which surprised me. Somehow I thought being back in the northern hemisphere meant everyone would have a real Christmas tree. It turns out quite a few of our friends and neighbours also have artificial ones.

When we discovered the pop-up tree, we liked the idea of simply ‘pulling it up’, instead of clicking in every individual, colour-coded branch. We also wanted a fairly modest-sized tree.

Clive did the popping up and our first reaction was that our tree looked like a cello. Obviously the top piece needed fluffing out, but the bottom part seemed flat and pressed in. We duly went around each ring, shaped the branches, and were rewarded with a well-shaped tree.

All done, except for a skirt

With some 1200 lights (family tradition = must have *lots* of lights), our Australian ornaments,  and others we’ve collected on our travels, our tree is twinkling, bright and ready for Christmas — though it still needs a red skirt to be completely dressed. Next purchase!  

Cheers and more soon.

View from our balcony, Felixstowe

Since I recently updated my blog header to include Felixstowe, I thought I’d offer a personal view of our new home, using the same headings as I did in 15 Things I Love about Sydney and Paris:

1 – At the Heart

A fascinating juxtaposition. On one side, the traditional British seaside and a brilliant two-mile-long Promenade. On the other, the largest container port in the UK.

Also at the heart, a community of wonderful people — Clive’s long-term friends I now feel privileged to call my friends as well, and also some great new friends.

2 – Man-made

Breakwaters and groins maintained in a continuous effort to minimise damage to the shoreline in heavy seas or high tides. Historic forts and towers. The biggest container cranes in the world, and a viewing area from which to watch ships coming and going, loading and unloading.

3 – Coffee

An excellent range of choices. Cappucino at The Alex on the seafront. Lattes at Caffe Nero or Costa on Hamilton Road, the high street. Claire’s Little Ice Cream Shop across from the Pier. Teashops, too — though fair enough, they do a much better job with tea.  

4 – Places

The seafront and the Prom. Landguard Point. The Grove. Felixstowe Ferry and Kings Fleet.  The three rivers: the Orwell, the Deben, and the entrance to the Stour — and riverside walks and pubs. The dock viewing area.  Nearby scenic villages, 250 year-old pubs (watch those low ceilings!), and 1200 year-old churches.  

Watching the action at the dock viewing area, Felixstowe

5 – Beauty and Feel

The feel of the sea and the countryside, mixed with awareness of the Port’s hustle and bustle and the pleasant proximity of London. The rolling waves and steely grey power of the North Sea. The huge skies and natural beauty of Suffolk. The feel of an English lifestyle — high street shops, endless cups of tea, red post boxes. Some might think me crazy, but I also find beauty in watching the sun set over the cranes at Felixstowe docks.

6 – Food

Suffolk produce. Countless British treats — full English breakfast (without the mushrooms, thank you), Yorkshire pudding, rhubarb crumble with custard.  Pub meals. Great Indian restaurants.  Stilton cheese. Cornish cream.  Roast dinners. Parsnips!      

7 – Walking

Felixstowe — and more broadly, Suffolk, England, and the UK — is for me a walker’s paradise. It seems we have an infinite variety of local walks to explore — coastal, inland, along the rivers.

Walking near Felixstowe

8 – Public Transport

Buses and trains seem to go everywhere, so sometimes we don’t use our car for days.  Easy train to London. Easy Eurostar to Paris. Heaven!

9 – Global Consciousness

Because so many people work directly or indirectly in businesses related to ‘the docks’ — the local term for the Port of Felixstowe — conversations are often permeated with deep knowledge and interest in global shipping, transport, and economic issues. Many people travel frequently outside the UK as well, so there’s a definite awareness of current events both inside and outside the country.

10 – Wine

Availability of wines from all over Europe and the rest of the world. So much to learn (and sample!). I miss the greater choices of Aussie and NZ wines we had in Sydney but we’ve found some of our favourites here and have enjoyed trying different wines we couldn’t get in Australia. There should be no problem finding ‘new favourites’ as time goes by.

11 – Culture & Lifestyle

A relaxed English/European culture, influenced by the dual aspects of the town’s history as a seaside resort and its later development as a busy port.  A very real place with no false pretensions and an appealing mix of families, retirees, dock workers, and day-trippers.  Shows at the Spa Pavilion. Special events such as a vintage car rally or Art on the Prom.

Art on the Prom, Felixstowe

12 – Books

A fabulous array for a relatively small community.  Independent Magpie Books, WH Smith for commercial fare, second-hand discoveries at Treasure Chest and Poor Richard’s, several charity shops with large, always-active book sections. A big Waterstone’s (so far it’s survived their recent closings) in nearby Ipswich.

13 – Day or Weekend Trips

From Felixstowe, all of England, the UK, and Europe is closer to us than ever before.  Day trips for a walk at Long Melford or Orford Ness; the train to London for a few days as we did recently en route to the U.S., mulling over catalogues of weekend trips to European Christmas markets (not this year – maybe next!) or spring in the Scottish Highlands.

And, of course, my joy that we’re now able to go to Paris with a backpack.

14 – Finding Myself – the Importance of Geography

Felixstowe is where Clive grew up — logically it would be more ‘his place’ than ‘my place’. I’d never heard of Felixstowe, until I met Clive. My first visit here was in 2006, and on subsequent trips, I found myself more and more drawn to this little piece of the planet.

Sunset at the docks, Felixstowe

Nowhere is perfect, and like all towns Felixstowe has its share of challenges. But there was that moment, in late 2009 — over a glass of wine in Paris, as it happened — when Clive and I talked about visiting Felixstowe one more time before returning to Australia, looked at each other, and found ourselves saying, ‘We could live there’.

Thus began our new adventure, stirring the waters of change, and moving (or returning, in Clive’s case) to England.  

15 – Finding My Love

When I was widowed in 2003, someone said to me, ‘Five years from now, your life will be completely different.’  In a million years, I couldn’t have imagined meeting, and then marrying, my ‘Mr Original’ as I often call Clive.

I’d be happy with Clive anywhere, but am glad he introduced me to the place where he was from, and that we now call Felixstowe home.

A postbox near Felixstowe Town Hall

Cheers for now and more soon.